Too many cooks..

When we were about to leave the ground someone said “I am very hungry”, that was when we realized that it was around 12:30 and we haven’t had our dinner. We (5 of us) started looking for a decent hotel in a car. Bannu was very skeptical though, “I think we should go home, it’s not safe to roam around at this time”. “What do we do for dinner then?” I asked. “We can cook” said Bannu. Everyone started to laugh. “Brilliant idea but for the fact that we have to eat it too” said Kumaresh.

Fifteen more minutes of roaming was in vain, the roads were deserted. “How come there is not even a single hotel open?” asked Harish. “May be, every one closed early to watch IPL” replied Bannu. “But logically one of them should have had it open. They would have made good business since others would have closed” I said. “Screw your logic, will you stop that mokkai now” said Kumaresh.

It was close to 1 then. “We should go home, there might be some gang war at this time” said Bannu. “What’s wrong with you kid this is India not America for anybody to shoot anybody he likes, dislikes rather” I said. At last we managed to find a kayendhi bhavan open. “We should go home, there might be some bandits, the shop is full of strangers” said Bannu. “We can have dinner here, we are all hungry”, replied Kumaresh nonchalantly as though he never heard Bannu. “No no we should go home; there is no guarantee for life now who cares for dinner?” He was definitely getting paranoid then. “I want to drink some juice in that juice shop” said Niranjan after waking up completely unaware of what was going on looking at a distant juice shop which definitely had a sinister look. “What the hell is wrong with you guys? It’s no longer safe here. We should go home”. Bannu was irrepressible we had to yield, else he would definitely cry we all thought.

We all managed to reach Kum’s home by 1:30. “Did you guys have dinner?” was the first question asked by auntie. We all stared at Bannu as though he was reason for all the fiasco and hence was responsible to answer the question. “No auntie, none of the hotels were open and we thought it wasn’t safe to roam at this time” replied Bannu. Everyone was furious now it was a blatant lie; it was never a “we”. “Mom, do you have any food left”, asked Kums. “Yeah there was...” “Oh that’s great we can help ourselves with that” said Kums. “I said there was… I gave it to a beggar, since there was lots of food left today”. “Which beggar auntie?” asked Niranjan? “Is that question very important now? What are you gonna do knowing that? Gonna beg that beggar for the food?”asked Kumaresh. “No issues I can cook for you guys just half an hour” said auntie. “No auntie we don’t wanna give any trouble for you, we will eat some bread and sleep”I said looking at the loaf of bread on the table, which looked more delicious than Butter Chicken at a Dhaba.

“Hey guys why don’t we cook?” asked Bannu again after auntie went to sleep. “That’s insane” I said. “No its not we all have tried cooking atleast once in the last year right?” replied Bannu. That was true to an extent. We all were forced to try our hands at cooking atleast once in the past year since we all lived away from the family either because of education or employment. We all reluctantly agreed.

The simplest and the tastiest thing to cook on earth is a Veg Pulao and the best cook in the world had told me that it’s best when the curry and rice were cooked separately and mixed while serving. We made a plan and divided the work among ourselves. I and Kums had to cut veggies, Bannu had to make the curry, Ninju had to make raitha and Harish had to boil the rice. “Use 5 cups of rice as we are all very hungry and make sure you wash the rice before keeping in the electric cooker.”I said, “I have boiled rice before and I know how to do it, cut the veggies properly”, replied Harish irritated.

The curry looked delicious and the smell was tantalizing. Raitha was also done, Ninju did cry more than what he did when the cheerleaders left the podium. After the curry was almost done and when we were preparing the table with water and plates I asked Harish “Hey dude between how many cups of water did you add to the rice”.

Harish: “What water?” he asked nonchalantly.

Kumaresh: He is just kidding never mind, he would have kept water just check the stove whether it’s cooked

Harish: No I dint keep any water? Why should you keep water for rice?

Ninju: For the rice to boil dumbo… for what else??... No... Not what else, well... for what other reasons.

Reminiscence of the past overtook him when he used the phrase what else… that he had to rephrase it. To our dismay Harish wasn’t actually kidding, he was oblivious of the fact that rice needs water to get boiled. The rice had turned into some black mass which we weren’t able to figure out what it was… and the whole living area was filled with the obnoxious smell.

Harish: I don’t understand? I have never used water before… but it had come out well

Kumaresh: Well then others would have done it. I swear I would have used your blood if I had seen the cooker before you closed it.

“What is happening here, what is the smell” asked auntie almost shocked. "Nothing much auntie, Bannu tried to show his cooking talent and it turned out like this", replied Ninju seeking revenge for his lost juice. But for the fact that Kumaresh had come on a 20 days vacation from US we would have been made chutney for their breakfast next morning…

At last we managed to eat sandwich, with the bread we had and the curry we made. It still tasted better than the butter chicken of a Dhaba…

Disclaimer: The cooking in the blog (especially by Harish) was done by professionals. Readers are advised not to try them at home. Author is not responsible if you are scolded by parents, or for any utensil damage.