Why am I not a gay

With due apologies to my sexy roommate venki….

It was early morning around 9:30 and I was in the process of opening my eye lids, the toughest job of the day. It is easier said than done especially in bangalore owing to its chill weather, the warmth of the blanket and bed makes even the most workaholic lazy.

“Ring ring ringa ring ring ringa…” thus I tried opening my eye lids, listening to the tunes of AR Rahman from his latest flick Slumdog millionaire. Such a seducing song can drive your thoughts wild early in the morning. The first spectacle of the day was Venki… who came back from a bath keeping the music on in his laptop.

He was fresh from a shower and was wearing only a kerchief. Oh it was actually a towel, thanks to venki’s mammoth stature which shrunk its size. It held on to his hips in such a way that it will fall down any second with the slightest flow of wind. Covering his vitals it exposed his concaves and convexes which glittered in the shimmering rays of the morning sun through the window. He quickly changed to a bikini… his thighs were like Rambha’s, aduppu mathiri oru iduppu and with overall plump figure he looked sexier than Shakeela in papa potta thaapa. It took me some effort to control my mind “That’s a boy Manivanna... that’s a boy… no... Don’t even think about it” 

Then I wondered why I am not a gay. There are considerable advantages being a gay.

First, obviously you can live with your partner in the same room and the whole world would encourage and appreciate it, sharing a room with girl friend… well ensure that Muthalik doesn’t know. 

Secondly, low maintenance cost, unlike a girl friend who would expect a gift every time you meet.

Thirdly, you can go out freely with your partner holding hands and no one would mind a thing, unlike the case when you go with your girl, they give a despising look, and even worse most of them would be drooling at your girl friend. 

Last but not the least,you can share clothes, including undergarments*

(*sizes apply)

Well one thing that has always puzzled me is “In what position do gays do?” 

Considering these advantages I wish I were a gay at times. Well what can I do, my hormones don’t work that way. Even in the case of venki, it was his feminine features that attracted me.