After my short stint as a python which costed me the appendix, I started worrying about my physique. I don’t look like a hippo (I think so) however I don’t look like a hrithik either (we are just talking about physical shape… color or facial appearance which can’t be changed unfortunately are not included here. It is my fate that I have to live with it… after trying fair & lovely,lush,lakme,et al. which proved invain and not to mention my haircut cum facial which shrunk my pocket by Rs.4000). So I decided to change the things which I had control over- my weight.
Googling on nutrition and diet I figured that essentially there is just one thing we need to take care of. The amount of food we eat should be in proportion with our day-to-day activities. We usually eat more than what is required (not a rocket science), speaking like an engineer we take in more calories than the amount which is required to run this machine and those extra calories aren’t the buggers which comes out as shit, rather they stay and enjoy your shelter which ultimately leads to a protruding tummy. So that leads to the important question how much calories is needed everyday for sedentary software engineer who ‘allegedly’ uses his brain more than his brawn – it is 2700.
After checking my BMI I just needed to reduce 3 kgs or 6.6 lbs to achieve the magical number 25(naa I ain’t gonna reveal my actual weight here ;)). One pound of fat is equivalent to 3500 calories, so six pounds is equivalent to 21000 calories – the amount I need to burn. Yet another googling on food -> calories calculator, I figured that rice and juice are the main culprits and of course soft drinks. For my week ahead I am going to need 18900 calories, for which if I eat only 7000 calories (7 X 1000) my body would try to use the extra calories from my body that leaves me with 9100 calories. Damn what am I gonna do with them now… Idea… I decided to go running everyday. Running 4 kms I will burn close to 250 calories per day which implies I would burn 1750 calories in a week. It seems that by sleeping we burn approximately 60 calories per hour… 2 extra hours of sleeping everyday and that I would close the margin by 6000 calories which I decided to burn by doing intense physical exercise, extra hours of walking, singing (alone of course) talking more and standing. Damn I wish I was married… You can burn close to 200 calories by making love.
I got up on Monday with a plan; oops I thought about the plan and postponed my alarm by 2 hours. After sticking to the plan for the first 2 days, I started disliking the food. I craved for rice… even the tasteless sagar meals looked delicious and was tantalizing. I was surviving on rotis and to keep my taste buds alive ate frankies at times.
Third day: my roommate could no more tolerate and threatened to throw me out if I din’t stop singing… junk guy called that ‘shouting’. I decided to compensate with an extra hour of reading.
Fourth day: I started cursing myself for the idea and told that it was whole crap, but decided to go ahead… I felt a bit dizzy while running.
Fifth day: I wasn’t able to work. I felt hungry all the time and went paranoid that I ain’t eating properly and on the long run it would turn bad. I was trying to bring in all sorts of justifications to eat a cup of rice.
Sixth day: I had to spend all day alone. That’s even more pathetic. Mani curd rice… no… please no… please… It was night 12 O clock and the war wasn’t over yet. I went out searching for food… screw the idea of diet… I was going to eat fried rice, the only available food at that time… I was the happiest guy to see a small mobile kitchen at a distance. When I rushed towards it, the police were shouting at the guy and he started packing. Damn…
Seventh day: SUNDAYYYYY I slepttttt no energy to wake up… I didn’t wake up till 11. I decided to end the f*** crap and started towards ‘Nandhana’. On the way, the inner voice started again… Just one day Manivanna... Just one more meal… Isn’t it 2 more… nope logically the dinner on Sunday I had was a roti meal so I just had to skip rice for one more meal… and I did… hurrah!!!!
I started for a wholesome 7 course meal for Sunday dinner… Outside the hotel there was a weighing machine… Aroused by curiosity I checked my weight and I had lost 1.5 kgs… close to 3.3 lbs… Voww it worked… the f*** crap worked… but holy shit I have to repeat this for another week… stop it you idiot… no way I can live with BMI 24…
DISCLAIMER: The experiences posted by the author are not entirely facts and has an element of fiction added. Users aren't recommended to try this personally as it requires a great deal of mental toughness and might prove fatal.
5 comments:
ha ah ha ha.. i try not rmbr my dieting debacle after my kidney operation.... i had to be off everything edible(read Meat) for 2 months.. i waited till the final day of my diet and just went to a Mughalai restaurant and binged like anything...
felt very guilty wen my doctor suspected something wrong attributing to my sudden change in blood sugar level :-P didnt confess though
"Damn I wish I was married… You can burn close to 200 calories by making love."... I dint understand the correlation between the first and last sentence.. :P
And a week without rice?? you must have have 3 full meals the next day.. anyways good will power machi.. ;)
@Rat
thats hilarious.I have been through an operation and understand your misgivings..
@Viva
having been in in america for 2 years you might not.. we indian 'hypocrites' are very conscious of that..
"The amount of food we eat should be in proportion with our day-to-day activities. We usually eat more than what is required (not a rocket science), speaking like an engineer we take in more calories than the amount..."
Why do you say we? There are people who eat just about enough.
Talking about marriage - have you seen anyone losing weight after getting married? Think about it!
I thought your dad's comment around the buffalo/gold (don't remember the saying) surely deserves a place in the first paragraph!
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