My family doctor diagnosed that I had acute appendicitis by just pressing my abdomen and ratified that later with a scan for my satisfaction (dissatisfaction rather…) He advised immediate appendectomy since it was the nascent stage and can be performed by Laparoscopy (an easy painless process) rather than the traditional cut open way. For the next 2 days I surfed over the net regarding the disease, the hospital and the doctor who is going to perform the surgery. I was satisfied with my doc’s reputation for he is the first one to perform a liver transplant in India… man that’s something. Ok I won’t die for sure…
The D-Day arrived and with it the most awkward moment too. The ward boy came with a razor to shave my pubic hairs. I stripped to my briefs but he wanted me to be naked. After confirming that he wasn’t a gay I agreed passively with a strict warning not to get lured by my six packs. After that I was dressed up in a surgical suite, the most comfortable dress I have worn till date. I was moved to Operation Theater after my cousin wished me ALL THE BEST!!!
He can be the best doctor in town but if ‘saneeswaran’ sleeps beside you in a double cot there is little he can do. When I just entered the theater the security came running to the doc with the best news I could possibly hear.
“Hey doc… Is ‘HELL 666’ white Honda Civic in L2 parking yours?”
“Yup. Any parking problem?”
“Nothing much… it’s just that it carries an attractive black dent now. Thought you would be interested to meet the creator of the dent.”
“What the f**k???? I got it painted only last week. Who the hell was that irresponsible guy?”
“I don’t know, a black SWIFT DESIRE guy”
“ohho..That’s my cousin” said yours truly in a pleading voice.
What an auspicious start. When the doc left I was given anesthesia. Had one helluva sleep.
It took me sometime to realize why I was there. Thanks to the pain in my right abdomen, it helped me to figure out the whole story. “Someone please save me. Please help me. I can’t bear the pain… anybody… please” I cried. I wasn’t able to see properly, but definitely I can tell that humans walked around, as though I never existed. Perhaps I thought I was dead, but then there shouldn’t be any pain… Well how do you know how death is like idiot you have never experienced it, then I felt someone pushing my body, though my visibility was pretty poor the words OPERATION THEATER beneath a bright red bulb was crystal clear. Why am I being taken to the operation theater again? Something has definitely gone wrong.
“Hey that case was just operated” told one ward boy laughing at the other two guys who moved me to the THEATER. Voww… that was relieving. I was taken to my room. These days local anesthesia is used for surgeries and hence I woke up within a few minutes after my operation was completed. I had a severe pain because the doc had performed a cut open (due to my cousin???) and unfortunately they can’t give a pain killer shot for the next 8 hours. Definitely one of the worst days in my life, I squealed all the while till I was given a pain killer.
Though you don’t do any work, hospital is not a good place to be on earth to spend time. Operation sucks out half the happiness in your life and the hospital environment takes care of the rest. Tough times ahead… I wasn’t even able to walk without a support for the next few days. I was down both mentally and physically to that level that I was fully confident my brain can’t work out a simple arithmetic problem anymore. I would have literally died but for the nurses.
Even the worst ‘mokkai’ among your friends circle would be the best joke for them. And they will be ready to talk as much as you want for they get a change in their ‘sick’ life. And they provide extra care while injecting an IV if you just say “You are the best!!!” The ultimate point was when I learnt to check the B.P. in a sphygmomanometer from a hottie and my first patient was her.
I had to spend the whole of next week at home in bed-rest. It was damn too boring for my mom banned computers. I would have savored any phone call or visit from anyone on earth. But to my dismay the phone calls were paltry in number. I felt lonely in the country of a billion.
The longest conversation I had was with HSBC marketing lady who dint trust that I was already holding a GOLD CREDIT CARD of theirs and started in a cute voice “Sir. Don’t lie sir”. The conversation went on for another TEN minutes.
At last the year…. oops the week passed by, I was back in Bangalore doing what I am best at… EATING!!! Well now that I don’t have appendicitis and it does not grow back at least in the case of normal human beings I started hogging again.
In the last weekend’s party I heard someone saying “Mani will finish those samosasssss…don’t worry”
The D-Day arrived and with it the most awkward moment too. The ward boy came with a razor to shave my pubic hairs. I stripped to my briefs but he wanted me to be naked. After confirming that he wasn’t a gay I agreed passively with a strict warning not to get lured by my six packs. After that I was dressed up in a surgical suite, the most comfortable dress I have worn till date. I was moved to Operation Theater after my cousin wished me ALL THE BEST!!!
He can be the best doctor in town but if ‘saneeswaran’ sleeps beside you in a double cot there is little he can do. When I just entered the theater the security came running to the doc with the best news I could possibly hear.
“Hey doc… Is ‘HELL 666’ white Honda Civic in L2 parking yours?”
“Yup. Any parking problem?”
“Nothing much… it’s just that it carries an attractive black dent now. Thought you would be interested to meet the creator of the dent.”
“What the f**k???? I got it painted only last week. Who the hell was that irresponsible guy?”
“I don’t know, a black SWIFT DESIRE guy”
“ohho..That’s my cousin” said yours truly in a pleading voice.
What an auspicious start. When the doc left I was given anesthesia. Had one helluva sleep.
It took me sometime to realize why I was there. Thanks to the pain in my right abdomen, it helped me to figure out the whole story. “Someone please save me. Please help me. I can’t bear the pain… anybody… please” I cried. I wasn’t able to see properly, but definitely I can tell that humans walked around, as though I never existed. Perhaps I thought I was dead, but then there shouldn’t be any pain… Well how do you know how death is like idiot you have never experienced it, then I felt someone pushing my body, though my visibility was pretty poor the words OPERATION THEATER beneath a bright red bulb was crystal clear. Why am I being taken to the operation theater again? Something has definitely gone wrong.
“Hey that case was just operated” told one ward boy laughing at the other two guys who moved me to the THEATER. Voww… that was relieving. I was taken to my room. These days local anesthesia is used for surgeries and hence I woke up within a few minutes after my operation was completed. I had a severe pain because the doc had performed a cut open (due to my cousin???) and unfortunately they can’t give a pain killer shot for the next 8 hours. Definitely one of the worst days in my life, I squealed all the while till I was given a pain killer.
Though you don’t do any work, hospital is not a good place to be on earth to spend time. Operation sucks out half the happiness in your life and the hospital environment takes care of the rest. Tough times ahead… I wasn’t even able to walk without a support for the next few days. I was down both mentally and physically to that level that I was fully confident my brain can’t work out a simple arithmetic problem anymore. I would have literally died but for the nurses.
Even the worst ‘mokkai’ among your friends circle would be the best joke for them. And they will be ready to talk as much as you want for they get a change in their ‘sick’ life. And they provide extra care while injecting an IV if you just say “You are the best!!!” The ultimate point was when I learnt to check the B.P. in a sphygmomanometer from a hottie and my first patient was her.
I had to spend the whole of next week at home in bed-rest. It was damn too boring for my mom banned computers. I would have savored any phone call or visit from anyone on earth. But to my dismay the phone calls were paltry in number. I felt lonely in the country of a billion.
The longest conversation I had was with HSBC marketing lady who dint trust that I was already holding a GOLD CREDIT CARD of theirs and started in a cute voice “Sir. Don’t lie sir”. The conversation went on for another TEN minutes.
At last the year…. oops the week passed by, I was back in Bangalore doing what I am best at… EATING!!! Well now that I don’t have appendicitis and it does not grow back at least in the case of normal human beings I started hogging again.
In the last weekend’s party I heard someone saying “Mani will finish those samosasssss…don’t worry”
6 comments:
Dude!!. sry to hear that u went thro this.. it must huv been somethin of an experience...
awkward too!! ..
wishing u a healthy life.. .
vishnu
my my... mani... first d recruitment torture now this... and with another incident i ll conclude that we are living the same life only with some basic changes...
My doc insisted to give antibiotics and one another anti-stuff wen i was admitted with a head injury.. even d nurse was wondering if something was wrong with my doc???? now beat this...
and y this sudden fondness towards HP.. or is that emma watson @ hermione granger???
That was a nice one. Interesting though. You might feel baffled by the way I say its interesting, becoz its your painful story, but the way you've narrated with all those tantalizing embellishments, makes it attention-grabbing. This is the first time on earth that you're undergoing an operation I guess, hmmm.. what else to comment on this. I feel sad that you had measly phone calls. Guess your
dear friends and close acquaintance thought that you need time to take rest. By the way, you look worn-out in that photo.
@dvishnu
thanks for your concern dude, yeah it was definitely one helluva experience
@the rat
thats it eh?? the doc might have thought that there is nothing much inside to be worried abt ;) just kidding.. I think you should tell all the interesting incidences in your life so that I can be better prepared for my future
@anonymous
thats the way I write
u are tagged..
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